a small adjustment

Now, I’m not inherently a lazy person. In fact, I think I’ve got a rather healthy work ethic: I work hard when I need to, and when I don’t, I sit on my ass and enjoy the inaction. I think that’s healthy.

But this is the thing about teaching that requires a small adjustment on my part: I can’t slack. I can’t come into work after a long night of partying, or staying up late watching horribly dubbed kung-fu movies, or after abusing my body in ways that isn’t worth getting into detail here, and go through the motions.

In my old life as a semi-willing corporate slave it was quite easy for me to simply bury myself in the depths of my cubicle, headphones blasting Frank Sinatra’s i got you under my skin, and fake it. Corporate work is at least partly about that; becoming more anonymous, faceless, and cog-like.

I’m convinced that most of the management of any given company I’ve worked at consisted of people who excelled in just that - willful slackism, anonymity, and excellent Dammit-but-am-I-busy-over-here-or-what bullshit skills.

At the school, however, I need to be on. Students are often coming by my office asking for help with their computers, or a project that they’re working on, and I need to be there. Half-assed instruction is obvious, transparent, shaming, and not something I want to be known for.

I can’t slack anymore, and that’s pretty great. I finally have a job that not only requires mental exertion; it requires me to be me. What a strange feeling.

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